So, I haven't posted a journal since that last one in early December, oops. I managed to not
get the things I planned for the holidays done, but, ah... that's just how things go, I guess.
College officially resumes on Monday, the 11th. I'm not ready for it in the least. Luckily, however, I'll have things relatively easy until mid-March. Until then, I've only got to finish up the two incomplete courses from last semester. So, I shouldn't struggle too much. Just finishing up. Yeah. Although, my Public Speaking class has me intimidated as hell. Anxiety and all. Eck. My professor is really nice though and he's worked with me last semester to help out and I only have to present in front of him only. Which is better than presenting in front of the class. It's still really anxiety-inducing just to think about giving a speech (I've got two or three to do, I believe), but... I'm trying not to get overwhelmed.
I'm really struggling with my depression and anxiety these past few weeks. Especially my depression. Freaking relapses. Along with physical issues. It's been really rough, and I'm really worn out and in a state where it's easy for me to become overwhelmed. Or rather I'm constantly overwhelmed. I guess it's like the way that something that's really sore becomes ridiculously oversensitive to things? I need a break to rest and recuperate but nah, got college to deal with. Ugh. I'm REALLY not emotionally/mentally ready for this. It sucks.
Also yesterday marked the first anniversary of my grandmother's death ahahaha I was in quite a bad place yesterday when the realization sank in. I'm still feeling the grief. I miss her. But, well, at least no more suffering for her, right? Yeah...